Beastboy's problem
by Izzywizzy14
Summary: When Beastboy's mental and physical health go down hill further along with his self-esteem, it's up to the titans to help him get through it.
1. Chapter 1

The Accident

Beastboy has always had a small bladder and has been prone to the titans know about it! But when he starts to stress wet a whole world of secrecy and problems occur. Warning:Some speak of child abuse if this offended anyone i advise you do not read it. Poor Beastboy :(

WARNING: This story contains self harm child abuse speak and slight(if there is such a thing)anorexia paranoia and depression, this story is NOT intended to offend anyone! If any of these topics upset you PLEASE do not read this!

Beastboy's pov

Last night I had a horrible dream.

I was back in the circus and was being made to preform on the trapeze wire, when I suddenly had the urge to pee. I tired to get down but i knew if I did I'd be in big trouble and be beaten by Genesis again. It was getting quite bad and I couldn't balance properly. I was only five. I went to the other end to go down the ladder but it was gone. I heard breathing behind me. I looked to the other end of the trapeze was Genesis with her whip. But instead of trying to face her I jumped.

I woke up as I hit the ground, I screamed thinking for a second it had all been real and I was back at the circus. My face was wet where I had been crying. My face wasn't the only thing that was wet. I threw back my blanket and stared at the giant puddle that spread across my whole bed. My stomach ached and my heightened sense of smell caused the hardly smelling urine to attack my nose.

"Shit!" I yelped and jumped out of bed. I stared gathering up my sheets. Then I realized I had to go to Cyborg. I don't know how to use the washer and Cy won't tell me because he wants to know when it happens. It doesn't happen a lot, once or twice a month but I still have to tell him.

I began to cry, I hate wetting the bed or having accidents, I'm 14 and still really small for my age. The doctor said my bladder hasn't caught up with the rest of my body yet. When I was with the doom patrol one of my kidneys failed and I had to have a transfusion. My bladder has a lot of issues and I can only hold it for about an half hour. Plus I'm diabetic so, yeah my health is kind of an issue as well as my mental health. The character in the cartoon on T.V isn't anything like me, as you'll find out, my character is more like Robin.

I started to choke. I Knew Cy wouldn't yell or get mad but I was still scared. Raven might make fun of me. When she gets in a bad mood she'll take it out on me because I'm the smallest and won't say anything back due to shyness. Robin and Cy will stick up for me, I thought. She doesn't mean it but I'm a very easy target and to be honest I don't mind. Well, I pretend I don't but if it saves everyone else having to worry about Raven's mood swings I suppose it's for the best.

I froze. I'd been so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't heard the noise in the bathroom. The toilet flushed and the door revved. I turned to run, when a large hand rested on my shoulder, it wasn't hard but it was firm. I still yelped out of fright and grimaced as a little more pee dribbled from my soaked boxers and slide down my chaffing legs. The hand twisted me to face the mass the hand had belonged too. I was almost relieved, but not quite, to see Cyborg's concerned face. He opened his mouth, probably to ask why I was still awake, but looked me up and down. His eyes rested on my soaked pj's and wet sheets. The smell wasn't strong but it was obvious I'd peed. My grey pajamas were drenched in my urine, wet on my front and back.

Cyborg looked at me sadly, he pulled me in for a hug but I pushed away. He looked down questioningly.

"D-d-don't, I-I'll get you w-wet."He continued to pull me tighter into the embrace ignoring the feeble attempts to wriggle out. He cooed and shushed me until I relaxed into the hug and started to cry again, mumbling pathetic excuses and apologies.

Cyborg's POV

"Dude it's okay, just stop crying, yeah?" I said. He pulled back and tied to stop crying but only made himself worse. I knew I couldn't make him stop so I continued to hug him till he' tired himself out.

When Beeb had eventually stopped crying he pulled away and wiped his face, when i told him its okay to cry he said no it isn't. When i asked him why he didn't answer. 'odd' i thought.  
I sent him for a shower and I cleaned his bed. He thanked me, though he was embarrassed of me doing, but was reluctant to go back to sleep. He got into bed anyway and pretended to sleep but as soon as I closed the door I heard stifled sobs coming from his bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Beastboy got up from bed at his usual time 4:00am, though nothing was usual about it. He got up from the bed he hadn't slept in, and remade it, though it was already made. He went to the bathroom and took an uneeded shower. The warm water soothed his tired muscles and relaxed the sick feeling in his gut. He closed his eyes and letthe water to wash over him. Some tears mixed in with the soapy water. As he washed his hair he accidently got some shampoo in his eyes but made no etmpt to wash it out. Insted he let the soap burn and sting his eyes. This was his punishment. She often did this, and he began to subconsiecly fall back on what she'd done to him as though to redeem what he did. He suddenly realised what he was doing to himself and quickly srubbed the burning chemicals out of his shockingly green eyes.

_Green_, he thought with a sigh as he stepped out the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist. He peered at the dark circles under his eyes. He heard running down the hall and a knock on the door.

Before he could answer a bright red Robin burst in.

"HiSorryButCanIpleasePee?!" He blubered as he hopped around.

"Yeah, dude, go." He squeaked a quick thank you and quickly untapped his pull up and began to use the toilet. Robin wets the bed so he wears a pull up to prevent the embaresment of cleaning sheets every morning.

Robin quickly put the pull up in the trash can andwent to exit the room with another apology.

Beastboy sighed. "Robin." He said calmly, Robin looked back questionongly."Hands."

Beastboy got dressed into a pair of faded blue jeans and a long sleeved grey t-shirt. Seeing the size lables 7-8 years old really didn't make him feel any better and neither did all the scars. He wore his signiture grey gloves to cover the crosses on his hands, the scars that were so deep they stopped him from straightening his little and wedding finger, the ones Genesis gave him.

Angry tears of frustration streamed down his face while silent sobs shook his body, but he was determined not to break down compleatly. He finished getting dressed and was staring sadly at the mirror when Cy called everyone for breakfast. Beastboy wasn't hungry, he felt naseaous. He was so scared to face Cyborg after last night that the knot in his stomach grew to the size on a baseball.

Raven came to see why Beastboy was taking so long. She knocked on his door.

"B? Breakfast is ready." When he didn't asnwer immediatly she opened the door."You okay baby?" See that's another thing the show has wrong about the titans, Raven isn't _always _moody and sadistic, only to Robin on occasion. But she's really maternal especially to Beastboy. Theres only a 4 year difference but because he's so small its hard to remember he's really 14.

Beastboy only nodded in response, he began chewing on a random item on his desk. He chews when he's nervous or aggitated like some animals. Raven was too busy admiriring his room for being so neat and tidy. _Its strange, _she thought._ A teenage boy beeing so clean. unlike Robin-_

Her train of thought was interuppted by Cyborg yelling to come and eat.

"Yeah, come on bubb, let's go eat." Raven said holding out her arm as Beastboy ducked into it. She held him close as they walked. It was a comfortable position considering Beastboy barley came up past her elbow.

"I'm not hungry," he whispered shyly.

"Why not? You feelin' alright?" This worried her. If he doesn't eat enough they can't give him an accurate dosage of insulin to put into his pump.

Beastboy shrugged and the knot grew bigger to the size of a softball in anticipation.

When Beastboy and Raven entered the kitchen/living room, Starfire was in the process of smearing mustard on a hotdog."Really Star? Hot dogs for breakfast, come on babe it won't be good for you." Robin said to his girlfriend.

"Says you, grease king!" Raven chirpped in walking to her seat at the table.

"Oh great, the goth queen from hell has awoken from her pit." He grinned at her cheekily with orange juice dribbling down his chin. As she came past him she smacked him upside the head and gently wiped the orange from his face with a napkin. This gesture sums up their love hate relationship in one single swoop.

"Good morning to you too, squirt." She stole some toast from him and sat down. He pouted at her but continued to eat his cereal happily.

Starfire turned to Beastboy. "Good morning Beastboy, I trust you slumber was pleasnt?"

He shrugged and smiled back shyly at her."Um...Yeah, you?"

Her smile lowered slightly before turning into a mask of concern."Yes,I did, are you alright?"

Cyborg looked up from the breakfast hewas making to glance at Beastboy. Beastboy ducked out of the stare and hunched over in his seat. Starfire rubbed his back.

"B? What's the matter?" He straightened and looked at her.

"N-nothing I, I am fine." His eyes watered but he blinked away the tears and tucked in his chair.

Everyone passed around food to one another, but Beastboy had a bannana and that was it.

"B, eat something more please." Cyborg said, using his I'm the oldest, I'm the boss. He only tends to use that voice on Beastboy because he is the only one who respects him as the legal guardian. He passed a bowl of cereal to Beastboy but he was more intrested with making patterns than actually eating it.

"He did mention he wasn't hungry," Raven said. Raven being the oldest girl and only a few months younger than Cy there is an obvious power struggle but they act more like parents than anything else.

Cy looked at B. When Beastboy met his gaze he ducked his head doen again ashamed.

The table went silent. Well, that was until Robin chimmed in with

"Are you two not talking?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Don't be ridiculous! Of corse we're talking, Robin, we're not like you and Raven!" Cyborg said huffily. That statment had hurt him. He knew that Beastboy was upset but he didn't want him to be that upset. He also didn't mean to snap at Robin or bring Raven into this.

Robin began to argue with Cyborg and Raven and Starfire. That's another problem, since Beastboy tends to be nutral he gets sucked into immiture situations as a tie breaker. He wished he was easy going and funny like the cartoon Beastboy, though he didn't like it when his charecter was aragont or rude. He wasn't like that, and he wished the cartoons writers hadn't made him that way. But B understood why they had changed his charecter, they already had an idea for Robin to be the leader, being Batman's son and all, so they used Robin's personality for Beastboy. They beleived he was too boring and quiet for a children's cartoon. As you can imagien Raven had a few words to say about that.

Beastboy sighed and slunk off to his room. He layed on his bed and closed his eyes. He was so tired, but he couldn't get to sleep. He wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come. His body felt numb. He relayed past events until he couldn't even think anymore. He couldn't feel anything. He sat up and looked in the mirror. He was pale and shaking the bags under his eyes wern't even close to funny. He forced a smile that was broken and pathetic but he smiled until his cheeks hurt. Then the tears finally gave way. He sat on the floor by his bed and curled into a ball and broke down into sobs that shook his whole body.

"Oh whatever, Cyborg you bunch of scrap metal, you act like you've never seen yourself in the mirror!" Robin yelled. His ears were hot and as red as his face. Cyborg had just made a rather nasty comment about the perscription lenses he had in his mask.

"Well if it wern't for those grandma glasses you wouldn't have seen me ethier!"

"That would be a good thing! And I might have mistaken your fat head for a watermelon!"

"Hardly likely, you're blind as a bat!"

"Bats aren't blind! Ask Beastboy! Oh wait you can't beacuse he hates you!" Robin laughed triumphantly.

Raven and Starfire had long since left the 'epic battle' and had just begun to notice Beastboy was gone. They went to look for him and found his asleep...passed ou...unconsious on the floor. His face was pale and tear stained, he shook in his sleep.

"What is wrong? Is Beastboy taken ill?" Starfire asked worridly as Raven scooped him up and put him into bed.

"No Star he's just...tired out." Raven said. "All the arguing probably killed his braincells like it has mine." Raven rubbed at her temples.

Starfire looked even more concerned. "Are you alright Raven?"

"I'm fine but all this yelling is giving me a headache, I can't imagean what it sounds like to his sensitive ears." Stafire nodded in agreement. As I may have mentioned, Beastboy has highly heightened senses. He can see, hear, smell and feel a lot more than most humans. Taste not so much being veegan, but still very strongly with the food he does eat.

Beastboy stirred in his sleep. Raven hushed Starfire and quietly crepped out of the room.

Beastboy dreampt he was on a boat with his parents. He was five, and a man was taking their picture. He gave a toothy smile, one he never gives anymore, when it began to rain. His mom quickly pulled the yellow cap that matched his yellow mac and they all ran in side to take cover from the on coming storm. They got to their room and his parents sat him on the bed.

"Momma!" He called and pointed at the window, water began to pour through and under the door as well. His mother gasped and picked him off his bed.

"Mark!" His father rushed in and battered down the door. He held the door open as Garfeild and his mother pushed through the forceful flood. His father was close behind. They escaped onto the deck and pushed Gary onto a lifeboat and set it a drift before they could get on Maria shoved Jeffy Garfeild's stuffed girrafe into his hands as a huge wave swallowed the boat and threw Gary away from it. The last words he heard was we love you as the wave pushed them under the water.

Everyone stopped fighting when they heard screams from Beastboys room.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**A/N I apologise for spelling and gramar mistakes but english is not my first langauge, but I'll try my best :)**

"Beastboy it's okay, your safe, I've got you, your alright!" Cyborg Rushed down the hall to B's room, as did the others, and sat on the bed, grabbing him and scooping him up into a hug. He continued to scream for another minuet or so, calling out his parents names, before waking up and apologising over and over.

"It alright, it's okay." Cyborg rocked him as he tried to stop the fat tears dribbling down his cheeks.

Beastboy had never been so embaressed infront of them all. He just wanted to die, to go somewhere and hide away from their concered faces. Cyborg asked Robin and Starfire to leave. Robin hesitated before reciving a stern look from Raven and reluctantly following Starfie down the hall.

Beastboy shoved his fist in his eyes in an attempt to stop crying and wiped his face. "I'm so sorry," he shook. "I...I had...I'm sorry." His voice highered in pitch as he got towards the end and started to tear up again. He was so ashamed. He was too old fro this to be happening to him again, it was a start of something much worse. Something he'd much rather not experience again.

"Its alright baby you can't help it," Raven rubbed his back. "What was your dream about?"

Beastboy wanted to tell them he really did, but he didn't have the luxury. The knot in his stomach grew so big and tight it made he feel sick. There was a lump in his throat making it difficult to breath let alone speak corectly. The weight pushing on his chest was making it increasingly difficult to breath and he was starting to painic. His breath hitched and he began wheezing. His chest was heavingheavily though not much air was getting into his lungs.

"B calm down!" '_Thanks Rae that really helped' _He thought. He ponted towards the top draw of his desk and she pulled out a paper bag. B quickly inhaled and exhaled into the bag, then slowed it down to a normal breathing pace.


	5. Chapter 5

chapter 5

Beastboy wouldn't talk for the rest of the day and wouldn't come out of his room. Beastboy was smart with technology, another thing that the cartoon was wrong about, and had overwrited the locking system on his doors so Cyborg couldn't use the emergency code on the door to open it. Cyborg yelled at him and called him names through the door in anger but he wouldn't come out.

"Cy leave him alone he'll come out when he's ready." Raven said from her spot on the couch. She was sprawled across it with a wet cloth across her eyes and forehead. "Telling him he's stupid and calling him childish won't make it anymore inticing to come out." Robin had long since departed to his bedroom to sulk at being yelled at from Cyborg while Starfire sat nervously on the other side of the couch eagerly listening to their conversation. She hated it when they argued because she didn't see the point in it. Especially since these people were companions and are supposed to enjoy one anothers company. She hated the tones they would use with each other, so bitter, and the language! But the worst part was when they yelled, everything was so peacefull back on tameran, there was no reason to yell and when it happedned being a princess she was never around to hear it. Starfire had never hated something this much apart from the people she cared about being in distress. She nearly hated arguments as much as Beastboy. What they brought out in her was ugly and she didn't like how something so insignificant could change her personality so much.

Hearing their voices getting louder and their tones hardening Starfire got up and desided to go and talk to Beastboy herself.

Beastboy heard Cyborg walk away and when he heard Raven start to argue with him he thought it was safe to unlock the door. His wrists burned with longing and his mind fogging with dark whispering voices. he pushed them aside and blinked away tears. He'd done enough crying for a lifetime, how dare he alow himeself to be so weak. His friends seeing in such a state none the less. The shame, it was unbearable. He wondered how he could ever face them again. The clouds drifted in once again and this time they could not be discouraged. He reached under his bed and pulled out the box. It had felt like years since he'd held this box, though it had only been a matter of days. Trembleing fingers hesitently flipped the latch and lifted the lid. He filtered through the pictures and letters, birthday cards and certificates until he got to the smaller box, one that had long ago held a ring. The ring that he had on a chain around his neck, it was given to him by his parents and had his name and a message inscripted in it; _Garfeild, our son, our love, our hope, we love you now and forever momma and daddy._ That was what used to be inside that box.

It now incased a blade which he had taken from a razor. This was one of many varities of blades he had hiden in various places around his room. He took it out and rolled up his sleeve.


End file.
